Monday, November 21, 2005
"Two Days Smoke Free" by Roiz Wolf
Hey made my second day without cigarettes! Less than $2000 damage to the
apartment, needed a new cell phone anyway, and didn't, well, 'successfully'
kill anyone...
And I learned a lot! :
- The Amana refrigerator in home service warranty "exclusions" section is
23 pages long and does not mention the word "Hammer" once!
- A in-focus projector can survive a 12 foot "flight" and only need a fan
replaced!
- There is no law that specifically says that you cannot sound an air horn
at an unsuspecting DMV clerk... as long as the sound is below the threshold
of pain (118 Decibels) .
- It is not possible to eat an entire family size Swanson's vegetarian
lasagna in one sitting.
- Trick- or- treaters will not ring a doorbell if they hear actual screaming
on the other side of the door.
- If you turn the shower faucet just slow enough you will find the resonance
of the piping and wake up your entire building!
- a computer CAN survive a bucket of water being poured on it as long as
there are no vents in front or on top!
- the asshole mailman (that folded, spindled AND mutilated your new VISA
card) cannot prove you electrocuted him if you get rid of the "wiring"
before he returns with the police!
- A 300 watt self powered sub-woofer , properly attached to the ceiling, can
imitate a sonic boom with a 70HZ signal generator attached to it. It seems
most effective if attached just below the neighbors bed and setting the
"boom time" at about 3:30 AM...
- You can stand in front of a bank with a stocking over your head as long as
you don't go in!
Roiz "Lets see how day three goes!" Wolf
apartment, needed a new cell phone anyway, and didn't, well, 'successfully'
kill anyone...
And I learned a lot! :
- The Amana refrigerator in home service warranty "exclusions" section is
23 pages long and does not mention the word "Hammer" once!
- A in-focus projector can survive a 12 foot "flight" and only need a fan
replaced!
- There is no law that specifically says that you cannot sound an air horn
at an unsuspecting DMV clerk... as long as the sound is below the threshold
of pain (118 Decibels) .
- It is not possible to eat an entire family size Swanson's vegetarian
lasagna in one sitting.
- Trick- or- treaters will not ring a doorbell if they hear actual screaming
on the other side of the door.
- If you turn the shower faucet just slow enough you will find the resonance
of the piping and wake up your entire building!
- a computer CAN survive a bucket of water being poured on it as long as
there are no vents in front or on top!
- the asshole mailman (that folded, spindled AND mutilated your new VISA
card) cannot prove you electrocuted him if you get rid of the "wiring"
before he returns with the police!
- A 300 watt self powered sub-woofer , properly attached to the ceiling, can
imitate a sonic boom with a 70HZ signal generator attached to it. It seems
most effective if attached just below the neighbors bed and setting the
"boom time" at about 3:30 AM...
- You can stand in front of a bank with a stocking over your head as long as
you don't go in!
Roiz "Lets see how day three goes!" Wolf
