Saturday, June 24, 2006
Hiroaki Tagawa Blind Guitarist
Hiroaki Tagawa isn't letting his lack of sight hold him back from being an awesome guitar player. Kind of makes you feel lazy doesnt it?
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Beautiful Loser
by Bob Lefsetz
"He wants to dream like a young man
With the wisdom of an old man"
Standing in the bathroom at the shrink today I was shocked. That guy in the full-length mirror. That was me. My hair had finally decided to give up the ghost, not only had most of it disappeared, but the gray was unmistakable. But worse was my skin. It no longer had the smoothness of a baby's bottom. It wasn't quite rugged, but it had crevices, my life was more than half over. Where did it all go?
Funny thing about getting older. You do get wiser. Shit, I'd never want to go back to college. I'd never like to revisit any of it. Not without knowing what I know now. It's so great when things finally come together, when you start to get yourself. But it happens too close to the end. And the questions? They keep poppin' up. Part of me still believes I'm twenty three. But then I start to run and my legs feel like lead. There's so much I still want to do, but so much I've missed. Oh, I got married, but I never had children. And the latest research shows birth defects come not from older women's eggs, but older men's sperm. This is my life. How did I do? Was I asleep too long? Shit, I'm still wrestling with so much, do I have to be ushered out so soon?
It doesn't seem that long ago I graduated from college. Funny how it's just like "The Graduate". You're at loose ends, you've got no clue. I dealt with the sense of loss by going record shopping at Sam Goody's. And over in the corner, amidst hundreds of cut-outs, I found Bob Seger's "Back In '72". I played it. Not that I got it. It had been reviewed so highly seemingly only months before, but now it had been abandoned. Still, there was this one song that penetrated me, that I played over and over. "Turn The Page".
And then I left home.
That's what you've got to do. I feel sorry for those who've grown up in the metropolis, with no need to move on. But you can't really find out who you are until you cut all ties and try to start over somewhere else. Finding not only your digs, but your social group. Building your life, as opposed to continuing to reside in your parents'. And, after two years of loose ends, skiing for a living, more like flipping burgers for a living, I found myself in L.A. Going to law school. It was great to live in a major radio market. With five rock stations. There was the choice of soft rock KNX. And exploratory KROQ. And hard rock KWST. But we all started in the middle of the dial in '76, at KMET and KLOS. And in the heat of the summer certain songs started pounding out of the radio. Stuff from Bob Seger's "Live Bullet". He'd been around forever, I'd even bought an album and had given up. But suddenly, with this live greatest hits album, his career came alive.
"Up with the sun, gone with the wind
She always said I was lazy
Leavin' my home, leavin' my friends
Runnin' when things get too crazy
Out to the road, out 'neath the stars
Feelin' the breeze, passin' the cars"
On most live albums, the singer oversold. He was trying to reach the back row. But Bob Seger seemed to be in a therapy session. Or on your couch after a couple of beers way past midnight. Telling his story.
Now "Travelin' Man" eventually portrays the life of a desperado, the same one the Eagles sang about. Still, I always resonated with the freedom. I didn't want to be tied down, I didn't want to sacrifice. I wanted to experience, I wanted to live. I always heard from my parents I was a lazy son of a bitch, but out here in the new world, trying to find out who I really was, I was fully active, I was fully alive.
That Bob Seger could get it so wrong year after year in the studio but get it exactly right on stage surprised me. After the above lyrics, more of the instruments came in, there wasn't only the wispy organ, there was a full tilt boogie band. That might have been from third-rate Detroit, but didn't give a shit. They weren't citified, not all slick like their Angeleno brothers, but these guys in the Silver Bullet Band knew how to ROCK!
And halfway through the song, Bob hung back, the drummer pounded, and the band worked out. And suddenly, in the height of the break, the groove changed. They sneaked into a whole new number. One we'd heard in its studio version on the radio now and again the year before. But instead of being poised, this "Beautiful Loser" had the feel of a bumpkin beaming on a country day. Of a come from behind local winning the U.S. Open. Of a band denied their spot on the national stage for so long finally claiming it. Yes, when Bob Seger and the Sliver Bullet Band launched into "Beautiful Loser" you smiled on the inside, you were with them, you shared the joy of their long-postponed success. When the crowd cheers when Bob starts to sing the words you tingle, you've been there, when you know every note your favorite act plays.
"Beautiful loser
Never take it all
'Cause it's easier
And faster when you fall"
Everybody starts out playing to win. But when sometime in their twenties they realize how hard it is to succeed, to fulfill their dreams, they give up. They make internal excuses. They become fans as opposed to players. They become shadows of their former selves. With no schoolmarm to push them, and out of their parents' sight, they're lost and broken. No, you just can't have it all. But you're entitled to quite a bit. But you've got to fight for it.
Suddenly, with the release of "Night Moves", primed by the success of "Live Bullet", Bob Seger was the biggest act in the land. He dominated the airwaves. And every time I heard the live version of "Turn The Page" on the radio I never forgot where it started for me, "Back In '72".
They say that Bob Seger doesn't want "Back In '72" released on CD because he doesn't like his vocals. But I never noticed a problem in the title cut. The kind of swagger rock absent from the scene today except for the Black Crowes. The kind of stuff that used to pour out of the jukebox at the bar after work and on weekends, when America cut loose from its factory jobs. There's a power and a soul that's irresistible. And there's a great cover of Free's legendary "Stealer", so legendary that if you've never heard it buy it immediately on iTunes, to hear why Paul Kossoff's death was a tragedy. But the piece de resistance is "Turn The Page".
"On a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha
You can listen to the engine moaning out its one lone song
You can think about the woman, or the girl you knew the night before
But your thoughts will soon be wandering, the way they always do
When you're riding sixteen hours and there's nothing there to do
And you don't feel much like riding, you just wish the trip was through
Here I am, on the road again
There I am, on the stage
Here I go, playing star again
There I go, turn the page"
And you wonder why all the musicians do drugs. You're adored by twenty thousand people and then you get in the bus with the same four assholes you've known your whole life, onto a new city to start all over. "Turn The Page" is the best song about the road I've ever heard. Because it's got a sense of desperation. Bob doesn't know why he's riding the bus. Should he give up? At this point, in 1973, almost nobody was listening. It's like hearing Elton John working out in his flat in London before "Your Song". Bob had all the talent, all the greatness, but somehow it all didn't matter. You can hear the fatigue in his voice. He's so tired, he can't even be desperate.
Metallica did a great cover.
And the live version smokes.
But the best take is still the original, on "Back In '72". And this week, I play it on the Rhinocast. You should hear it.
Bob Seger quit the road. To have a life. He got it right, as opposed to all those who died living the rock and roll lifestyle. His latter day career is marred by too many ballads, but for years he rocked. And when I hear that rock I'm reminded of who I once was. And wonder if my journey has been the right one. Whether I've got a blind spot and am really the beautiful loser. Whether I'm just not old enough to understand it, to get what life is about. I'm still listening to records to find out what life is about.
--
If you would like to subscribe to the LefsetzLetter,
http://www.lefsetz.com/lists/?p=subscribe&id=1
"He wants to dream like a young man
With the wisdom of an old man"
Standing in the bathroom at the shrink today I was shocked. That guy in the full-length mirror. That was me. My hair had finally decided to give up the ghost, not only had most of it disappeared, but the gray was unmistakable. But worse was my skin. It no longer had the smoothness of a baby's bottom. It wasn't quite rugged, but it had crevices, my life was more than half over. Where did it all go?
Funny thing about getting older. You do get wiser. Shit, I'd never want to go back to college. I'd never like to revisit any of it. Not without knowing what I know now. It's so great when things finally come together, when you start to get yourself. But it happens too close to the end. And the questions? They keep poppin' up. Part of me still believes I'm twenty three. But then I start to run and my legs feel like lead. There's so much I still want to do, but so much I've missed. Oh, I got married, but I never had children. And the latest research shows birth defects come not from older women's eggs, but older men's sperm. This is my life. How did I do? Was I asleep too long? Shit, I'm still wrestling with so much, do I have to be ushered out so soon?
It doesn't seem that long ago I graduated from college. Funny how it's just like "The Graduate". You're at loose ends, you've got no clue. I dealt with the sense of loss by going record shopping at Sam Goody's. And over in the corner, amidst hundreds of cut-outs, I found Bob Seger's "Back In '72". I played it. Not that I got it. It had been reviewed so highly seemingly only months before, but now it had been abandoned. Still, there was this one song that penetrated me, that I played over and over. "Turn The Page".
And then I left home.
That's what you've got to do. I feel sorry for those who've grown up in the metropolis, with no need to move on. But you can't really find out who you are until you cut all ties and try to start over somewhere else. Finding not only your digs, but your social group. Building your life, as opposed to continuing to reside in your parents'. And, after two years of loose ends, skiing for a living, more like flipping burgers for a living, I found myself in L.A. Going to law school. It was great to live in a major radio market. With five rock stations. There was the choice of soft rock KNX. And exploratory KROQ. And hard rock KWST. But we all started in the middle of the dial in '76, at KMET and KLOS. And in the heat of the summer certain songs started pounding out of the radio. Stuff from Bob Seger's "Live Bullet". He'd been around forever, I'd even bought an album and had given up. But suddenly, with this live greatest hits album, his career came alive.
"Up with the sun, gone with the wind
She always said I was lazy
Leavin' my home, leavin' my friends
Runnin' when things get too crazy
Out to the road, out 'neath the stars
Feelin' the breeze, passin' the cars"
On most live albums, the singer oversold. He was trying to reach the back row. But Bob Seger seemed to be in a therapy session. Or on your couch after a couple of beers way past midnight. Telling his story.
Now "Travelin' Man" eventually portrays the life of a desperado, the same one the Eagles sang about. Still, I always resonated with the freedom. I didn't want to be tied down, I didn't want to sacrifice. I wanted to experience, I wanted to live. I always heard from my parents I was a lazy son of a bitch, but out here in the new world, trying to find out who I really was, I was fully active, I was fully alive.
That Bob Seger could get it so wrong year after year in the studio but get it exactly right on stage surprised me. After the above lyrics, more of the instruments came in, there wasn't only the wispy organ, there was a full tilt boogie band. That might have been from third-rate Detroit, but didn't give a shit. They weren't citified, not all slick like their Angeleno brothers, but these guys in the Silver Bullet Band knew how to ROCK!
And halfway through the song, Bob hung back, the drummer pounded, and the band worked out. And suddenly, in the height of the break, the groove changed. They sneaked into a whole new number. One we'd heard in its studio version on the radio now and again the year before. But instead of being poised, this "Beautiful Loser" had the feel of a bumpkin beaming on a country day. Of a come from behind local winning the U.S. Open. Of a band denied their spot on the national stage for so long finally claiming it. Yes, when Bob Seger and the Sliver Bullet Band launched into "Beautiful Loser" you smiled on the inside, you were with them, you shared the joy of their long-postponed success. When the crowd cheers when Bob starts to sing the words you tingle, you've been there, when you know every note your favorite act plays.
"Beautiful loser
Never take it all
'Cause it's easier
And faster when you fall"
Everybody starts out playing to win. But when sometime in their twenties they realize how hard it is to succeed, to fulfill their dreams, they give up. They make internal excuses. They become fans as opposed to players. They become shadows of their former selves. With no schoolmarm to push them, and out of their parents' sight, they're lost and broken. No, you just can't have it all. But you're entitled to quite a bit. But you've got to fight for it.
Suddenly, with the release of "Night Moves", primed by the success of "Live Bullet", Bob Seger was the biggest act in the land. He dominated the airwaves. And every time I heard the live version of "Turn The Page" on the radio I never forgot where it started for me, "Back In '72".
They say that Bob Seger doesn't want "Back In '72" released on CD because he doesn't like his vocals. But I never noticed a problem in the title cut. The kind of swagger rock absent from the scene today except for the Black Crowes. The kind of stuff that used to pour out of the jukebox at the bar after work and on weekends, when America cut loose from its factory jobs. There's a power and a soul that's irresistible. And there's a great cover of Free's legendary "Stealer", so legendary that if you've never heard it buy it immediately on iTunes, to hear why Paul Kossoff's death was a tragedy. But the piece de resistance is "Turn The Page".
"On a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha
You can listen to the engine moaning out its one lone song
You can think about the woman, or the girl you knew the night before
But your thoughts will soon be wandering, the way they always do
When you're riding sixteen hours and there's nothing there to do
And you don't feel much like riding, you just wish the trip was through
Here I am, on the road again
There I am, on the stage
Here I go, playing star again
There I go, turn the page"
And you wonder why all the musicians do drugs. You're adored by twenty thousand people and then you get in the bus with the same four assholes you've known your whole life, onto a new city to start all over. "Turn The Page" is the best song about the road I've ever heard. Because it's got a sense of desperation. Bob doesn't know why he's riding the bus. Should he give up? At this point, in 1973, almost nobody was listening. It's like hearing Elton John working out in his flat in London before "Your Song". Bob had all the talent, all the greatness, but somehow it all didn't matter. You can hear the fatigue in his voice. He's so tired, he can't even be desperate.
Metallica did a great cover.
And the live version smokes.
But the best take is still the original, on "Back In '72". And this week, I play it on the Rhinocast. You should hear it.
Bob Seger quit the road. To have a life. He got it right, as opposed to all those who died living the rock and roll lifestyle. His latter day career is marred by too many ballads, but for years he rocked. And when I hear that rock I'm reminded of who I once was. And wonder if my journey has been the right one. Whether I've got a blind spot and am really the beautiful loser. Whether I'm just not old enough to understand it, to get what life is about. I'm still listening to records to find out what life is about.
--
If you would like to subscribe to the LefsetzLetter,
http://www.lefsetz.com/lists/?p=subscribe&id=1
Monday, June 05, 2006
Turn off the NATURE, already! Geez!
Ya just gotta love things like moving to bumf*** Utah.
Being a Miami girl, I'm used to some pretty strange goings on between the animal kingdom and me.
Like the time my dad brought me a new "pet lizard" he'd caught in a tree somewhere - knowing how much I loved iguanas (since he'd bought me my first one when I was six) he thought this new lizard would be something really cool for me. Cool it was, until I opened the box, stuck my hand in, and that little lizard latched onto my finger like nobody's business and WOULD NOT LET GO!
Being a wimp of eleven, this freaked me out and I started crying - which meant my dad got in MAJOR trouble with my mom, who suddenly appeared on the front steps and proceeded to let my dad know a thing or two, all the while I'm sitting there freaking out with this green reptile attached by the fangs to one of my digits.
I was not favorably impressed.
Here's a picture of the sweet little thing:
Isn't he just a glorious shade of green? Yeah, I thought so, too.
That is, until the cute little thing turned out to be the Dracula of the reptilian world, opened his little green jaws and BIT MY FINGER TILL IT BLED!
INSERT 11 YEAR OLD'S FINGER HERE: ==>>
Ah well, I finally extricated my finger from "Jaws" and he was let loose in the big Star Fruit tree in our front yard, where he lived for years and years and became quite large - I'd see him sneaking around the tree trunk in the afternoon, searching for his insect snacks - always had a healthy respect for him after that.
Stuff like that happens in Florida - but when you wind up in some god-forsaken desert in Utah where even the bushes have a hard time growing, you don't really expect to get much nature action. The area I live in DOESN'T EVEN HAVE SQUIRRELS for heaven's sake!
"Why", you ask?
Elementary, my dear Watson: THERE ARE NO TREES HERE! Just scrub brush and juniper bushes. Not the most squirrel-friendly habitat. It tricks you - makes you become unsuspecting and unwary when nature suddenly rears its head and scares the daylights out of you.
I went out this afternoon to do some shopping - in the middle of it all I got hungry and stopped off at a food joint for a quick sandwich. While I was devouring it, I decided to call above mentioned mother and chat with her while I ate my lunch. Just minding my own business, sitting in my Jeep with the windows down having a nice conversation with my old mom, and this *huge* seagull appeared out of NOWHERE and TRIED TO FLY THROUGH THE WINDOW OF MY JEEP - WITH ME IN IT! Seems old Jonathan Livingston Seagull has a habit of hanging out around the drive thru window of the food joint and accosting unsuspecting picknickers who are chowing down in the parking lot!
"Seagulls in UTAH?" you ask? Why YES! The state that is home to the Great Salt Lake, is also home to thousands, perhaps even MILLIONS of Salt Lake dwelling seagulls, since the Lake is is LOADED with Brine Shrimp, which just so happens to be MOST seagulls' favorite food. I say most, because wily old Jonathan had developed not only a penchant for fast food, but a quite bold and non human-fearing attitude .. he was ready to fly right through the window of my vehicle and share my sandwich with me. I didn't share his enthusiasm for this adventure. He had a large pointy beak that did not look all that different from the draconian lizard from Transylvania who had given my finger a "what for" many years ago.
<<== THIS WAS WHAT I SAW THE MOMENT BEFORE I DROPPED MY PHONE AND MY SANDWICH AND GOT MY WINDOWS ROLLED UP!!!
Hours later, back home, I went into the bathroom and my dogs followed me in there - for some reason they're always fascinated by ANYTHING I have to do, so I have no privacy of any kind with these two K9s around. But suddenly I realized that the dogs weren't interested in ME at all - but rather fascinated with the heater vent in the middle of the bathroom floor. I don't mean just mildly interested, either. I mean NOSES GLUED TO THE VENT - snuffling and snorting and tails a-wagging.
I'm watching the dogs' interest in the heater vent with some curiosity, and suddenly I heard it: a soft plaintive mewing - then more mewing - and OH NO - someone's cat decided to go UNDER MY HOUSE AND DELIVER A LITTER OF KITTENS! I could hear their little kitten noises coming through the floor, courtesy of the heater vent.
My dogs now want to get into the hall bathroom all the time now. I finally had to shut the door to keep them out of there. They just think I'm being mean. They even told me so.
I'm putting out a call to Marlon Perkins first thing in the morning - I'm hoping maybe Mutual of Omaha will give me a guest spot on Wild Kingdom. I hear the show is being resurrected just for me.
Being a Miami girl, I'm used to some pretty strange goings on between the animal kingdom and me.
Like the time my dad brought me a new "pet lizard" he'd caught in a tree somewhere - knowing how much I loved iguanas (since he'd bought me my first one when I was six) he thought this new lizard would be something really cool for me. Cool it was, until I opened the box, stuck my hand in, and that little lizard latched onto my finger like nobody's business and WOULD NOT LET GO!
Being a wimp of eleven, this freaked me out and I started crying - which meant my dad got in MAJOR trouble with my mom, who suddenly appeared on the front steps and proceeded to let my dad know a thing or two, all the while I'm sitting there freaking out with this green reptile attached by the fangs to one of my digits.
I was not favorably impressed.
Here's a picture of the sweet little thing:
Isn't he just a glorious shade of green? Yeah, I thought so, too.
That is, until the cute little thing turned out to be the Dracula of the reptilian world, opened his little green jaws and BIT MY FINGER TILL IT BLED!
INSERT 11 YEAR OLD'S FINGER HERE: ==>>
Ah well, I finally extricated my finger from "Jaws" and he was let loose in the big Star Fruit tree in our front yard, where he lived for years and years and became quite large - I'd see him sneaking around the tree trunk in the afternoon, searching for his insect snacks - always had a healthy respect for him after that.
Stuff like that happens in Florida - but when you wind up in some god-forsaken desert in Utah where even the bushes have a hard time growing, you don't really expect to get much nature action. The area I live in DOESN'T EVEN HAVE SQUIRRELS for heaven's sake!
"Why", you ask?
Elementary, my dear Watson: THERE ARE NO TREES HERE! Just scrub brush and juniper bushes. Not the most squirrel-friendly habitat. It tricks you - makes you become unsuspecting and unwary when nature suddenly rears its head and scares the daylights out of you.
I went out this afternoon to do some shopping - in the middle of it all I got hungry and stopped off at a food joint for a quick sandwich. While I was devouring it, I decided to call above mentioned mother and chat with her while I ate my lunch. Just minding my own business, sitting in my Jeep with the windows down having a nice conversation with my old mom, and this *huge* seagull appeared out of NOWHERE and TRIED TO FLY THROUGH THE WINDOW OF MY JEEP - WITH ME IN IT! Seems old Jonathan Livingston Seagull has a habit of hanging out around the drive thru window of the food joint and accosting unsuspecting picknickers who are chowing down in the parking lot!
"Seagulls in UTAH?" you ask? Why YES! The state that is home to the Great Salt Lake, is also home to thousands, perhaps even MILLIONS of Salt Lake dwelling seagulls, since the Lake is is LOADED with Brine Shrimp, which just so happens to be MOST seagulls' favorite food. I say most, because wily old Jonathan had developed not only a penchant for fast food, but a quite bold and non human-fearing attitude .. he was ready to fly right through the window of my vehicle and share my sandwich with me. I didn't share his enthusiasm for this adventure. He had a large pointy beak that did not look all that different from the draconian lizard from Transylvania who had given my finger a "what for" many years ago.
<<== THIS WAS WHAT I SAW THE MOMENT BEFORE I DROPPED MY PHONE AND MY SANDWICH AND GOT MY WINDOWS ROLLED UP!!!
Hours later, back home, I went into the bathroom and my dogs followed me in there - for some reason they're always fascinated by ANYTHING I have to do, so I have no privacy of any kind with these two K9s around. But suddenly I realized that the dogs weren't interested in ME at all - but rather fascinated with the heater vent in the middle of the bathroom floor. I don't mean just mildly interested, either. I mean NOSES GLUED TO THE VENT - snuffling and snorting and tails a-wagging.
I'm watching the dogs' interest in the heater vent with some curiosity, and suddenly I heard it: a soft plaintive mewing - then more mewing - and OH NO - someone's cat decided to go UNDER MY HOUSE AND DELIVER A LITTER OF KITTENS! I could hear their little kitten noises coming through the floor, courtesy of the heater vent.
My dogs now want to get into the hall bathroom all the time now. I finally had to shut the door to keep them out of there. They just think I'm being mean. They even told me so.
I'm putting out a call to Marlon Perkins first thing in the morning - I'm hoping maybe Mutual of Omaha will give me a guest spot on Wild Kingdom. I hear the show is being resurrected just for me.
